1. Clutch: very good, quite excellent in some situations.
Example: That donut was pretty clutch! (BTW, donut
generally means "girl")
2. Big Raging Schaeffer Oil Filed Broccoli Mushroom
Cloud Benefits: This is a horrific fart that you would crank after an all night drinking binge with the boys (so gnarly that
it just flat clears out the room, which is pretty key)
3. Lubing The Pork Loin: The is generally when
you have talked a donut into breaking out about a quart of K-Y Jelly to massage your monkey (this is definitely key)
4. Go Hollow: This is when you have busted out
your Monty Bulb Tip and stuffed into a donut. (AKA getting laid, and we all know how clutch this can be!)
5. Onion Butt: This is when a donut has an ass
so perfect it makes you want to cry.
6. Raging Duraflame: This refers to the wood you
pull at about six-thirty in the morning and you are convinced it can diamonds.
7. Peel the Orange: This is when you are pummeling
a donut "doggy style" and you reach to peel apart the butt cheeks (this is definitely key)
8. Bear Paw: This is what you do with an open hand
ton one of your friends that is being a major pain in the ass (You Say: "Hey you son of a bitch, calm down or I will bear
paw your ass")
9. Spice Channel: Need I say any more?? This is
the basis for how I personally manage to live from day to day, without the wonderful programming this fine channel provides
I believe I would be six feet under.
Example: Spice Channel is very key
10. Smelling the Glove: This is when you have gone
absolutely all out with the bros. the night before. You are convinced that you drank at least thirty-three beers, threw down
around eight shots of god only knows and too every other type of illicit concoction your "connection" serves up. (You say:
"I killed it so hard last night and therefore I am smelling the biggest glove of all time") ** this is not key...
11. Bag of Crunched Assholes: This is how you feel
after you have gone out drinking with Zman all night and you feel so horrible you basically want to kill yourself. Not enough
Advil and Gatorade can even come close to soothing this pathetic state of mind.
Example: Hey, I got so billed last night I feel
like a bag of crunched assholes.
12. Cunt Faced Rodent: This is what I call some
guy who just irritates the shit out of you. He looks like a rodent, acts like one and he is just one of these bumout types
that just kills your entire buzz.
Example: Hey, look at that cunt faced rodent**
this does apply to donuts unless you want immediate
health problems, do not address a donut in this fashion
13. Chubba: I personally like the term chubba,
it kind of makes me laugh from time to time. A Chubba is when your hog is fatter than it is long...I am kind my hog is not
shaped like tuna can, but some donuts have told me that banging some guy with a tuna can is pretty key...I will never know
this due to the fact I am not a donut...
14. Sacks Are Filling Up Again: This is when you
have got to take a leak so bad that everything you see is yellow...The worst is at some house party with some richter band
playing and you've got some richter donut on you M-tip and all of the sudden, holy shit.
Example: Sacks Are Filling Up Again
(...this pretty much kills the romance of the moment)
15. Peel the Paint: This one is not for the weak
at heart. This is basically after you have drank with Zman all night and ate bad food...The next morning you blow it out and
it wreaks so bad that you have to repaint the bathroom...
*This is a big bumout*
16. Let Go of the Hindenburg: This is the football
sized dump you take after you have had a long surgery and you have not been able to unleash for a couple of days. Chances
are it hurts so bad you feel as if you are giving birth to a rugby ball aka "Hidenburg"
17. Blow Mud: **This does not mean giving our drummer
a blow job** This is what happens after you have eaten bad tacos in Mexico at Taco Stand where several small dead dogs were
laying around. The biggest question you ask yourself is not "Why do I feel like shit?" but rather "Why in the hell did I EAT
that shit?" The end result is your exploding onto the porcelain.
18. Bust a Big Peter North Bag Blow: This really
needs no defining, but I will for the novice: This is when you have not "gone hollow" or "banged a donut" or "stuffed it in"
for several weeks. The buildup is so ridiculous that when you finally climax you blow enough jizimazium that you could fill
a small Jacuzzi. This is quite a relief for the dude, but a messy nightmare for the donut...
19. Upper Tanker: This is one of my favorites!
This story is true too: I had to move a couple of years ago because my landlord was moving into the property where I resided.
I was all bitter because I was on a lease and was expecting to stay for an extended period of time. Anyways, I was all pissed
off, so once I had all of my belongings moved we went back to the pad where my buddy lifted up the top lid on the toilet and
"Freed Willy" It was epic!!! I was fucking howling for days, I got a call from the lady a few weeks later and she was just
so irate she must have been turning blue...She was saying something like: "You sick, disgusting son of a bitch" and I just
hung up the phone almost passing out from the laughter.
20. Francois Papillion Arch: This is a move that
must be demonstrated in person and is pretty fucking key. You basically pummel a donut doggy style and arch your back while
peeling the orange (her ass) and grabbing your right butt cheek and peeling your own orange. I often crack up while performing
this clutch act, My favorite time to do it is when there is like a ten foot mirror in the bedroom, it just adds this key Spice
Channel feel to the whole thing...
